So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
