i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So much rum. So many feels.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Never joke about your clitoris.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
