Me. At least after what I've been through.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
