He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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