I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
