i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
