All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My liver just had a heart attack.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize