Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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