Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
