There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
