We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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