what day is it and did you see me today?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize