Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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