I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
