There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
