At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize