Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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