I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
