it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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