Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
