that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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