The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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