she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
