New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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