Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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