Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
