so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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