CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My ATM looks so different sober.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
