You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
