good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
