I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
