Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
