this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
