she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
