Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
