you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
