I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
