I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
