the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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