so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
