oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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