i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
