She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize