I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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