just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
