I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
are you so shy because you have an std?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
