My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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