alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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