I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Me too!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize