I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
