He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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