My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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