A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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