My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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