You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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