The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
