Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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