wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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