he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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